I stare into the darkness with one question on my mind.
How did I let myself go this far?
I knew it was going to happen this way, so why did I continue? Was I a masochist of some kind? If I hate getting hurt, why did I stand in harm’s way?
For you to fully grasp what I’m rambling on about I guess I should back it up and give you the run down of the full story…
It started off as any normal day….
You know, the blue sky unblemished with any clouds, the sun shining high and bright yet not abusing you with its intense heat, and melodious sounds of the birds singing songs to one another that you selfishly mistake for yourself? Yeah, those days.
Well, unfortunately those kinds of days don’t last for long, and mine abruptly ended at 6 p.m. with two simple words- “we’re dating”.
I know what you’re thinking, “Really June, dating is no big deal. You’re overreacting.” Maybe I am, but I have a valid reason too. I mean, I’m awkward and I’m typically the third wheel.
Example, you ask? Here’s two..
- When people come up to the three of us, they smile and congratulate the new couple with such enthusiasm and then look at me with such pity. I mean HELLO, I’m not a charity case my friends are just dating. What the heck, man!
2. When my friends start going at it and I end up walking in on it or accidentally seeing something I’m not suppose to..
This is why, those two words, when it escaped the mouths of my best friends, my heart sank. Don’t get me wrong, I’m their number one supporter and fan, but I know that things are going to be way different from now on. I feel like I should give them space, but they expressly told me that they didn’t want me to do that.
I mean, it’s not like I’m going to distance myself forever, but for a little bit to give the the couple some time to establish themselves with their partner and for me to figure out where I stand.
Now I don’t know what to do. Should I stay and let the whole thing figure itself out as it goes along or if I should be proactive and do something about the way I feel right now?