“I don’t know what to do,” I groaned into the phone.
“Maybe you’re the problem,” came the non-sympathetic response from my brother Vincent.
“Think about it, June. What’s one common thread in all your friendships?”
I sat dubious for a moment. “Umm, all my friends are pretty?..”
“Okay, and what else?”
And? There’s more?
“I don’t know, V, what is it?”
He sighed. “All your friends have something interesting about them and you lack that. You just need to change yourself. Make yourself more interesting and alluring so guys will want to date you and you won’t feel neglected. You need to get your own relationship. Be the interesting person June; you’re too simple.”
I stared at the phone staying silent for a good minute as my heart crashed to the floor. I’m not interesting? I have to change everything about myself? Wait, I’m too SIMPLE?
“So you think this is all my fault?”
“Yes, yes, I do.”
So much for that…
“I mean, think about it,” the voice of my brother said drawing me out of my momentary stupor, “you are the only one who is alone. They have each other and you have no one. So, try to make yourself likable so you don’t feel horrible when things go downhill. You play it safe too much.”
What kind of advice was this? I mean, I shouldn’t have to change myself for someone to like me, right? Then they wouldn’t like me, they would just like the person they thought was me.
He does have a point, my subconscious piped up. Look at yourself. You are sitting in your car pining over your hurt while your friends are probably unfazed and enjoying each other’s company. If you had a boyfriend things would be different.
So what am I suppose to do? Just stop being me and change things about myself to attract a man and fall in love? To hell with love! It’s been useless to me up till now. I can’t imagine it would actually prove useful to me even after I change myself. Frankly, I don’t think it’s worth it if I have to change or “upgrade” myself in order to attract a male’s attention. I’m not that lonely. … Am I?